MILITANT APATHY

EXCITING NEW GROUP FOR THE CLARENCE!

The worldwide apathy movement has gained momentum with the launch of a local Clarence branch of Apathy International. A spokesperson for the group didn't bother to comment, but it has been confirmed that the new branch has as many as 30,000 members from Glenreagh to Yamba.

According to apathetic sources, the membership application process is simple, only requiring a demonstrated lack of interest about society and the environment. Proof of indifference is required for office-bearers, who are expected to carry out their duties with a high level of unconcern. Rank and file members only need to not do anything.

Latest reports suggest that a significant number of local individuals and community groups including the Clarence Environment Centre have been blackbanned from Apathy International. This has been due to their unhealthy levels of conern about local and global social justice and ecological issues.

"Some of these characters have even been known to do things like write letters, go to blockages, write press releases, organise meetings and write submissions," said a local member of Apathy International. "Certainly not the type of people who should belong to our group. Still, it doesn't really matter. Why should I care?"

The Environment Centre is fighting the ban, but to date it hasn't yet mustered the level of indifference required to join Apathy International. This newsletter is a last-ditch attempt to arouse members' apathy so we can join the majority.

So remember, don't bother reading any more of the articles, and DON'T GO TO ANY OF THE EVENTS. Don't do your bit and help us be part of Apathy International!